


Worlds Without You

by exitium



Category: Of Knights & Royalty, Original Work
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Major Original Character(s), Married Life, Nightmares, Original Character(s), Original Universe, THE STREAMS ARE CROSSING, i guess, idk how to tag, married life be like: ilysm but... what if you could be happier w someone else, shut up i only want u and ur big cock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:07:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25776364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exitium/pseuds/exitium
Summary: He dreamt of a world where they weren't lovers.
Relationships: Ambrosia Adstrum | Ambr | Rosia | Rose/Violet | Lyria | Sumire Luni, Ambrosia Adstrum/Sumire Luni, Rose/Violet, Rosia/Lyria
Kudos: 1
Collections: Of Knights & Royalty





	Worlds Without You

**Author's Note:**

> This was a response fic to an absolutely painful comic Mes, whore bottom, wrote.

Violet has never believed in destiny.

It assumes that her purpose was out of her control. It says that all the choices she’s made have been predetermined and her autonomy will always be in question. And, most importantly, it tells her that her drive and motivations aren’t because of her independence but that they were _there_ to begin with, set off like a chemical reaction and activated when she has made all the right decisions. Fate and the providence of gods are ideas that go against everything that she is, everything that she believes in. 

Violet is woken by the sound of Rosé’s sharp inhale. When her eyes snap open, she finds him staring back at her.

Her heart shatters into a million pieces.

“Ambr,” she whispers, the back of her hand gently running down his cheek. His tears wet her skin as he gapes at her. “You’re crying.”

She knows, immediately, that it’s because of a bad dream. Violet knows that expression, and she knows it well. Rosé’s dreams are few and far between, usually caused by high stress or past trauma… Or _both._ They’re typically never _good._ Violet has woken in the middle of the night before during his nightmares, as if her body just knows when he is in distress. 

But this is different. Something tells her there is more to this than meets the eye. 

His expression- wide-eyed, _afraid,_ distant… As if he is there and not there at the same time, barely even _registering_ her. The moonlight luminates his tousled, coffee colored hair, bangs sticking to his forehead because of a light sheen of sweat. Rosé’s breaths are short and quick- Violet’s heartbeat trills. He might be on the brink of a panic attack, with the way that he’s trying to form words but unable to spit anything out. 

_Stay calm,_ Violet tells herself. _Nothing good will come out of this if you freak out too._

“Ambr, sweetness,” Violet says gently, willing her voice to stay calm and soothing. “Look at me.” 

Relief floods her body when his magenta eyes carefully find her eyes. Okay, good. At least she knows her words can reach him. But he keeps trying to talk. All that comes out are wordless sounds, as if his sentences are clogged up in his throat. Violet furrows her brow and scoots closer, propping herself up on her elbow now. 

“Please don’t try to talk-”

“Hurts,” he gasps out. His eyes flood with tears again as he paws at his chest. It takes her a moment to realize he means he can’t _breathe_. Violet feels her heart twist, and it takes every inch of her self-control to keep herself steady. She cups his cheek, rubbing his tears away with her thumb. “Su- Sumire…”

“ I know, I know, shh, shh.” She doesn’t. She doesn’t know what he could possibly have seen that broken him into this state. What nightmares dared plague his mind? Who did he dream of that terrified him so badly he can barely _speak?_ The questions drive through her as she sweeps his hair back from his face. “You can tell me everything later, but I need you to take deep breaths for me, okay? Inhale, 1, 2… Exhale, 1, 2… Good. Good. Repeat until your chest doesn’t feel tight anymore.” 

Deep breath in, deep breath out. Rosé suckles in air; every now and then a sob would interrupt, and Violet would rub his back until the stutter leaves his breath and he’s reposed. It takes a minute. Two, three. Four. Five. Five minutes until he has calmed, and once the panic has left his eyes his expression has stilled.

Sitting up, Violet flicks on their lamp. Golden light caresses his face and cheekbones, despondent. She wants the answers so she can give him the protection and reassurance she needs. She wants to know what he saw so she can wrap her arms around him and keep him safe. But she knows that that comes second. What he needs right now isn’t her. He needs to feel like himself again, at least a little bit; and that way, they can talk this out properly.

Violet has never believed in destiny.

“I’m going to go get you some water,” she says, shifting under their covers.

“No,” his reaction is instantaneous, immediate— his hand reaches to clasp her hand. His grip is certain and tight and his expression, desperate. Not quite there. Somewhere else. _Pleading._ “No, don’t go. Not again. I can’t watch you leave again, please, Sumire…”

But a distant bell tolls, and after the pain comes crashing down on her, she hears a voice deep inside, another plead she can’t ignore. She wants to go to him, to hold him in her arms, tell her she’s not going anywhere…

_Please don’t go, Lyria. They don’t deserve your mercy._

Instead, all she can do is stand still and watch him break down again. She is frozen in place. Her limbs are heavy ice, blood running cold as Rosé falls apart. His tears run down his face and his breaths pull into soft sobs, ripping from his heart, ripping _his_ heart and she can’t do anything. 

Lyria? Mercy? Whose voice is that? Questions swirl in her mind, questions she all has answers to. That voice belongs to Rosé, but… He has _never_ said that. So why? Why does it feel like...

 _I can fix this,_ this time it’s _her_ voice, laced with determination and uncertainty. _Rosia, I promise you. I will come back to you._

“I dreamt,” Rosé whispers, “I dreamt of worlds where you and I weren’t lovers.”

That snaps Violet out of her trance. A world where they weren’t lovers… 

Rosé’s grip becomes more certain. He clasps her wrist tighter and then pulls, gently, to drag her closer to him. If this is what he needs, she doesn’t protest. Her free hand clutches their mahogany comforter; she pulls it over their waists loosely as he wraps his arms around her.

The safest place in the world, he digs his face into the crook of her neck.

Violet holds him tight, and he shudders. A long, shivering breath leaves him, tickling her skin, and she knows that he doesn’t want to let go _._ But why, she doesn’t know. The room fills with silence as she waits for him to elaborate, to go on. _What did you see that has you heartbroken in my arms?_ She wonders, as she strokes his hair. 

“What is it?” Violet asks softly. “What did you dream about? Tell me, Ambr. So I can tell you they’re wrong.”

“... I dreamt about destiny,” he replies, a moment later. “Dozens of lives where you and I just, weren’t meant to be. It was always me watching you… Watching how happy you were with another. And I..”

_Because I would have been content just watching,_ her retainer said, simply. 

“... I was so happy for you,” Rosé says breathlessly. His voice breaks in too many places for her to believe that. 

_Because I would have been content staying behind you,_ he said.

“You have me,” Violet whispers. 

“You could be so much happier,” Rosé whispers back.

_You will find a man or a woman, Lyria, a good mortal who you will love with all your heart. And you will be happy,_ Rosia said. His clawed hand touched her cheek so lovingly despite himself. _You will be happier without me._

“You know that’s all I want, right?” Rosé pleads. He stares into her eyes with so much intensity, as if begging her to believe him. “All I want is for you to smile.”

Of course. Of course she understands. Violet knows the feeling more than anyone; her heart and soul only ever wants Rosé to live the selfish life, a greedy life where he can take and take and take from the world that kept taking from him. But why? Why does he say it so sadly, like he isn’t the cause for her joy? 

“Rosé,” Violet says quietly, desperately.

_My lady, you are my everything. But I beg of you; do not taint yourself with the likes of me. I am filth, dirty and broken… I am a monster. Love saves liars, they say, but I have done more than lie. You deserve better._

“I love you so much,” Rosé says, every force behind each syllable raw and honest. “I love you so much, Violet. That if it isn’t me who is right for you, that it isn’t me who can make you smile like you can outshine the sun-- I can’t stand the thought of not giving you that.”

No. _No._ Violet’s mind pulses, racing a hundred miles an hour to scream at him that that’s not _true._ The heartache in his voice is tearing her apart. She can’t bear it, to hear him sound like that, to listen to him spout _bullshit_ as if he isn’t the person who matters the most to her. But her tongue goes numb, her words overloading in her throat that all she can do is gasp. 

_Try as I might, Lyria, but… I really do love you. Yet I am not right for you. I am a demon, and you are a human, and you deserve to live._

“Rosé,” Violet tries, once more. Her voice shivers as he smiles brokenly at her, like he can’t hear her. 

“I love you so much,” is all he says.

_I love you, my lady. And I’m sorry._

Sumire has never believed in destiny.

Never. Every expectation she has smashed, every limit she has broken, they were all done from her hands. She did that _herself._ She pulled herself out of her own void and she looked at herself in the mirror and told herself, _Get a fucking grip._ Sumire has looked death in the face and spat in it. She has laughed in the face of gods and fate and _destiny,_ she has never believed in _destiny._

And she will not start now. 

Especially not when he’s telling her his dreams are saying there are worlds where _destiny_ has set them apart. A pinprick of anger turns into a flood of wrath.

“Ambr,” Sumire snaps, lunging forward to clap his face in both her hands. “This is a load of _bullshit._ ”

Ambr’s eyes widen at her sudden exclamation. She’s not sure what he expected her to do; perhaps hold him for the rest of the night wordlessly and assume that it was all just a dream. It is. The rational part of her brain is saying it _is a dream._ But something tells her it’s more, because even if he didn’t say much, she already knows. 

“Destiny can suck a fat fucking cock!” 

Maybe she shouldn’t have started with that. 

“Sumire…”

“I mean it,” she says, “I _mean it._ Those other worlds where they’re dictated by a predetermined fate, one that is chosen for me, means that I never got a choice in the matter. My heart was set from the beginning, I was an equation formed with a set answer in mind. Do you know why you had to watch me fall for someone in those other worlds? It’s because I had no other choice!” 

Nothing gives. Ambr’s gaze falls to her lap, unable to meet the intensity of her golden eyes. “And what if you did?”

“I will always choose _you._ ” 

_Are you certain, Sumire? Of me…? I have nothing to offer. I have no money, no family, no medals or armies or titles. All I have is loyalty._

“Look at me,” Sumire mumbles.

_I… destroyed your kingdom, I saw it fall to ruin. I gave up my humanity for power, I am the monsters you are trained to slay. All I have is revenge._

“All I have is myself,” Ambr says softly. “To give to you.”

And is that not… All she has ever wanted? Is that not everything she has dreamed of? She feels her chest tighten as she stares at him, uncaring for the tears that began to fall down her cheeks. Absentmindedly, he wipes them away, and she thinks, _Of course it’s all I want. Of course it’s you._ All the years she spent, nursing her own wounds, telling herself that she was her own pilgrim, her own hero, her own villain… All of that _gone_ the moment he first smiled at her. 

“That is more than enough,” Sumire whispers. “That is everything I want. _You_ are everything I want.”

Sumire cups his cheek, her thumb rubbing away his tears. 

“In all those worlds that you and I exist, do you know why I know I’d choose you?” 

_Because I don’t believe in destiny,_ the princess said. _I believe in the choices we make._

 _Because I believe in change,_ Lyria, stubborn as ever, insisted. _And I will not accept that your life, as it is now and forever, is permanent._

“Because I believe in you,” Sumire says. “Everything you’ve done, everything you do, everything you will do, I fall in love with you deeper and deeper, because it is _you_ and nobody else. There will never be anyone else. There will only be you, because it’s _always been you._ ” 

Something in his eyes change. That fog of certainty has lifted; in it she can see that he has found assurance in her words, comfort. Sumire would never lie to him. Sumire could never lie to him even if she wanted to. Therefore, her words are honest, coming from a place in her heart that is reserved for only him. 

He opens his mouth and she can sense it. An apology. Sumire quickly kisses him to shut him up.

“And don’t apologize!” She exclaims, shooting him a fierce look. “I don’t care! I don’t care how many times I have to say this to you, I’ll do it over and over to let you know how much I love you, because I’m your _wife_! You married the stubbornest woman in the world and now you’re paying the price.”

A smile. Small. Ambr sniffles, and nods. “Alright, I get it-”

“I love you,” she says. She furrows her brows and meets his eyes. “Do you hear me? I love you. I’ll even scream it out of that fucking window so all of Millefiori will wake up and hear.”

Though she’s sure they already know. According to Runi, she is very transparent when it comes to Ambr. But he chuckles wryly anyway, and nods, and he says, “I love you, Sumire.”

_I love you more._

_I love you most._

She smiles, and draws him even closer than before. 


End file.
